15 Jan 2006

The Seaweed is Always Greener...

Growing up the Little Mermaid was always one of my favorite movies. I think maybe because Ariel has red hair, or maybe because she got prince charming... i'm not really sure why i liked it. I just did. Although i am no professional piano player, i know how to play one song by heart- Under the sea... the song starts with the line, "the seaweed is always greener in somebody elses lake". I think for a long time i just thought those were fun words with a fun melody but somewhere along the way i realized that it sounded very much like another English idiom... about grass.

Often in life I find myself thinking the grass would be greener somewhere else. Part of the pain of living in 2 worlds is that whenever i am here (Poland) i find myself wanting to be there (Canada/US) because i am missing out. I am missing out on being with my best friend as she has her first child, from being able to hold him in his first week of life and from being able to see him grow. In all likelihood I will meet him just before his first birthday. A lot happens in one's first year of life. I am missing out on my sisters first year of marriage (though i got to be at the wedding!) and from helping my parents build their dream retirement home.

But whenever I am there (Canada) after not too long i find myself missing here. Missing my Ukrainian friends who live a 10 minute walk from my flat where i spend hour upon hour drinking tea and talking about God with them and with Poles. I miss talking to Kasia as she questions everything about life, the bible and God. I miss walking everywhere and watching out for the green trams that move like catepillars through the city. I miss the fresh bread and the strange language that somehow now isn't so strange.

An American friend of mine who also lives in Poland once told me she feels caught in the inbetween. She can't live here and she can't live there. I guess the problem is that we are more homesick than some- feeling like strangers and aliens, longing for our real home (which is neither here nor there). I am learning to live where i am with the people God has put in my life. The grass in Canada and in Poland i think is pretty much equally green (except in the winter when it is white, covered with snow...) Maybe the only place the grass is truly a little bit greener is in that place He's gone to prepare for me.

1 comments:

Eric Asp said...

I know exactly what you mean, Krista... It is indeed a strange middle ground that expatriates must inhabit. I feel the same tension between my life in America and my life in Holland. But I'm always encouraged by the verse in Hebrews about Abraham, who "made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country... for he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God." It's not an easy place to be, but be encouraged to know that you're not alone...